Now what?

I peeked thought the curtains, and I am glad I did so it didn't come as a surprise later, and found my car and everything else covered with a fluffy layer of snow. On the last day of March. But that's not what worried me. I saw my car tailed with two other cars, making it impossible for me to back out from the driveway in front of our apartment building.
Now what?
I gently went and woke up my husband and asked whether he could come up with a solution or rather drive to the city in the evening to pick me up after a ballet performance. Without any words he, he got dressed, and went out. I saw his puzzlement. Then he took time, cleaned the car. When I got out, he sat in it and drove ahead on the sideway in front on the rest of the building, turned a corner, and carefully drove between another car and a sandbox in front of another apartment building, and then made two more turns and arrived soon behind all the other cars. He came out, handed me the keys and planted a kiss on my cheek, wishing safe drive to the city.

I couldn't think of what to write for a reflection so I wrote a little slice from this morning. 
I realise that I have been just writing - the stories that occupy my mind, the words that arrive when I ask. The challenge was easier than previous years. I have worried less about having wonderful slices, written in a way that would meet my imaginary slice standards I used to set for myself. I have forgiven myself that I didn't comment as much as I had hoped. I appreciate that people visit this blog and leave lovely comments. I wish to hug everyone.

Now what?
See you on Saturdays at Ruth's place and on Tuesdays at Two Writing Teachers.

Thank you to TWT team for this wonderful challenge!

Beauty on Thursday afternoon

After a rather intense meeting about how much time documenting student learning, writing tasks and comments takes, wondering how much is enough, and is it all really worth it, my three colleagues and I buttoned our coats, wrapped scarves around our necks, zipped the teacher bags, locked the classroom doors and walked into chilly early spring afternoon.
It took us some time to find the right spot In Old Town. We almost missed the unnoticeable old building on a narrow side street. The hall was plain and dull. The entrance was like a construction site. We entered through thick plastic sleeves and suddenly we stood in a large room with a high ceiling with paint peeling off. All four walls were huge screens. In the middle of the room three slightly glowing lamps showed light to a circle of few wooden benches and low stools.
Suddenly we were surrounded with classical music and the screens and art of the floor filled with brush strokes. In front of our eyes van Gogh's paintings grew and changed. Transported millions of miles form the school meeting, we sat mesmerized. Painting after painting filled the screens, the music changed according to the mood of the paintings, the colors merged, the details of the paintings moved, the scenes faded and new ones emerged. After Van Gogh the animated works of Monet and Klimt followed. 
We waited something good but received a deep emotional experience.


*How we ended up at the show:
Standing behind a red light I caught a glimpse of a billboard inviting people to a multimedia exhibition. The traffic light and billboard changed at the same time. I didn't completely see where and when the exhibit was. When I arrived at school, I did quick google search, found the info and forwarded it to my three friends. We put it on our plans but then life got busy and we had to postpone it. This Tuesday we tried to find another date. Apparently we all live rich lives because the only common available time was this Thursday after school. You can imagine how glad we were that we went today.

 

 

writer's block

It happened. A writer's block fell from a sky. It was a rain of blocks, solid, harsh, gigantic writing blocks. I am buried underneath. Rest assured, the damage isn’t too bad, mostly bruised pride and scratched self-esteem.

I remember the instructions in case of writing emergencies. Just sit down and write.

I have a mound of blocks over me. Down won’t do. Up, I need to get up. I wriggle, push, shift, stretch, push, and wriggle some more, until I am in an awkward semi sitting position, more like diagonally leaning in between. Close enough.

Now for writing. How am I supposed to do it in this non-inspirational dark environment?

Movement helps. I wiggle my toes.

My brain needs oxygen. Is my brain still there?

Where’s light? I snap my fingers for a spark.

I conjure images of exciting writing territories.

I imagine following a golden idea thread.

I envision magnificent thought building.

I shout out an affirmation: I am an appreciated inspirational author.

Headache. Concussion. Delusions.

I give up.

Help!

Anybody?

I’m hungry.

What’s for dinner?

*I was very surprised when I wasn't able to come up with an idea for a slice. So far it had been easier than ever before. The ideas seemed to enjoy visiting me and words cooperated well. It felt silly that three days before the end of a challenge I wouldn't be able to write. I searched for inspiration in some writing books. Over and over the message came - sit down and write. Also advice to let thoughts flow, or collect words and play around. The message and advice helped. 

Right now

Right now I am.....

::enjoying the quiet of the early morning - still dark outside

::feeling  sleepy - spring forward is challenging

::appreciating all the wonderful wishes I received yesterday - in person, on a phone, through fb

::admiring the beautiful gerberas my husband brought to me - yellow, creamy, orange, pink, red

::savoring the last drops of morning tea - rosehip, hawthorn berry, raspberry-, birch- and mint leaves

 

::hoping that today will be calm - sometimes it happens in fourth grade, believe me.

::looking forward to a play in the evening - a cup of tea and some cookies before that

::wishing you all sunshine - outside and in your hearts



Inspired by Soule Mama
My previous "right now" posts

My life in lists - 45

Today I turn 45.

My life in lists
9 x 5 = 45

People

1. mom and dad
2. husband and three daughters
3. sister, brother-in-law and two nephews
4. students
5. colleagues - friends

Things that matter to me the most at this point of my life

1. Family
2. Health
3. Home
4. Learning
5. Leadership

Learning

1. Tallinn 21. School 
2. Tallinn Pedagogical University
3. Junior year abroad at Smith College
4. CEESA/ECIS Literacy Coach training program
5. Tallinn Education Innovation Center Education for Future program

Short summer jobs

1. babysitting
2. tour guide in medieval Town Hall
3. delivering mail by bike in five little country villages
4. working in a gardening school
5. selling handicraft in a little shop

Countries

1. Estonia (Tallinn, Kohila, Kolga-Aabla)
2. USA (Northampton MA, Seattle WA, Washington DC, Bowling Green KY)
3. Norway 
4. Netherlands 
5. China

Hobbies

1. Reading
2. Dancing
3. Blogging
4. Photography
5. Walking

Areas to improve  (working on each to some degree)

1. mindfulness
2. nutrition
3. strength
4. decluttering
5. meal planning

Favorite times and places

1. Drinking tea and reading a book on a living room sofa on Saturday
2. Sitting on a quiet sandy beach on a warm summer evening
3. Enjoying a day off with my daughters in a cafe followed by a trip to a bookstore
4. Walking to work through Tallinn Old Town early in the morning
5. Watching a play or a ballet on Thursday evening with friends

Surprising moments 

1. cherry blossom parade in Washington DC
2. lunch with French ambassador's wife
3. drinking tea with a Buddhist monk, two school directors and one school owner
4. standing on the Great Wall of China
5. listening to Barack Obama from the first row of a balcony in Tallinn

I could have written different lists. I could have written longer list. I could have written more lists. Today I wrote them like this.

Here is my little gift to you on my birthday:

Book spine poems

Before SOLSC 2017 I made a list of possible topics to write about. I haven't looked at it once. This year the slices gladly roll out to the screen. I seem to have more slices than days in March.  Number 32 on my list is a book spine poem. I have created one during challenge for the past six years and today is time for this year's poems.
One is in English, another one in Estonian.

1. The first one was almost ready before I started. All but the top book stood next to each other on my shelf.

How to have great ideas?

Calm

Quiet

Very Good Lives

Daring Greatly

Big Magic

2. The second one is a combination of poetry books, one novel, and two short story collection. This one  played around a bit more, adding and taking away titles, arranging and rearranging several times until it felt right. The translating was a bit more challenging. it doesn't translate word to word, but I was able to deliver the idea.

From time to time

Women on journey

At the end of the world

Rain and wine

Short and ordinary stories

A book of closeness

Life poetry

Inviting you to try your own book spine poem poetry if you haven't created it yet this March.

Previous years:
e-book spine poem
post with links to my other book spine poems

confident enough to be silly

I know that as a teacher it would make sense to write about my students. And there is a lot to write. About the learning. Surprise, surprise - practice makes better. About creating. When you are able to accept the mess of making puppets and backdrops in a tiny classroom  - the result is superb. About emotions. Always about emotions in fourth grade. About a surprise field trip to a Puppet Museum. I could do it - small class, small town, sunshine - I took the kids out on Friday.
This week in the evenings when I wrote drafts for my slices, school slices stayed quiet and other ideas asked to be written, the curiosity, passion, success, power hour. I think you understand.
Yesterday I was too tired to write a draft.
Pleasurably slow Saturday morning hinted a small poetic slice.
This was until I opened the computer and did a quick email-news-instagram-twitter-facebook check.
A silly photo of me screamed for attention on the fb news feed. It already had 75 likes what means that many of you saw it too. I believed that people did not read fb on Friday evenings. Wrong.
How to react? Get upset? Ask the other person to remove the photo?  
I hardly ever post photos on fb and this was certainly one I would have not shared to tell about my life. On instagram I had posted a simple photo of a chair that looked like a human face. On twitter I had posted a collage of the field trip to a puppet museum.
What got the most attention was the photo of me in a big black wig and a fluffy blue skirt. I looked like a poodle.
The students found it funny when the shadow assistant and I tried out the costumes in the puppet museum. They had had so much fun dressing up that the two of us couldn't resist the temptation either. When you are around kids you have to be able to loosen up and be silly at times.
So the photo will remain because is part of my story.
I am the kind of teacher who takes kids to a puppet museum and is ready to be a bit silly.

I celebrate the slices I've written, messy creative classroom, a sunny Friday and a silly picture.

What's fun in your world?

I am on the right

power hour

Looking back at my last three slices I am genuinely surprised that a day that I had approached with hesitation gave me more than I thought. I can see how mesmerizing motivational speakers totally hooked me. The rational part of me knows that no books nor presentations can guarantee magical results. Read this, do this and you will be anything you dream of. It makes me chuckle how someone's years of work written in thick books turn into a day of presentations and I easily squish them into two pages. Some injection of enthusiasm and inspiration however gave me energy.

But this is not what I wanted to write about today.

When I went to school this morning a colleague shared how excited she has been reading Kath Murdoch's "Power of Inquiry" on her way to school every morning. This reminded me of Power Hour. One of the ideas Jack Canfield shared was the concept of Power Hour in the morning. Twenty minutes of meditation + twenty minutes of exercise + twenty minutes of inspirational reading. Not novels but something you can learn from, like a book about inquiry. This sixty minutes does not include shower, breakfast and getting ready to go to work. I guess this is why I am not a best selling author and international motivational speaker. I don't get up early enough to fit the full power hour in my morning.  I am happy that I do 10 minutes of sun salutation, eat healthy breakfast, stay calm, and don't leave home without a goodbye kiss to my still sleeping hubby and daughter.

But this is not what I wanted to write about either.

My mom stayed over night yesterday. Since my two older daughters are away, she had a choice of whose bedroom to inhabit. She took the one with bedside light. She said she would go to sleep but I know she probably read into night long after I had fallen asleep. In the morning I got up so early that  she wasn't yet awake. The door was closed but I could imagine her tiny body curled up like a child in a big bed. Power and success seem insignificant when you have mom peacefully breathing under your roof.

This is all for today.

principles of success

Continuing form yesterday

Jack Canfield spoke about the principles of success. He has a book with more than 85 principles.
In the event brochure he listed 7 principles you can do already today in order to bring happiness and success to your life:

1. Develop four new good habits each year.
2. Practice appreciation 
3. Solicit and respect feedback
4. Keep all your agreements
5. Exceed expectations
6. Reject rejection
7. Eliminate small obstacles

What he shared during his presentation strongly connected with what I am teaching to students.

Take responsibility for your life
Event + reaction = outcome. The only thing you can control is reaction. You have control over the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take (your words and behavior).
Give up complaint, blame, and excuse making. Saying "I can't" weakens a body. Instead of failure focus on the positive alternative. Blaming keeps you powerless.
Instead have a clear intention of what you want. Set positive expectations. Take action and persevere. Don't give up. 
Your thoughts are your greatest power.  
You wish to grow: gratitude, abundance, generosity, joy, forgiveness, love and positive expectations. 
Whatever you think about, talk about, fantasize about, focus on, give your attention to, act on - you are going to attract more info into your life. 
Decide what you want.
Believe it is possible. 

He continued with goal setting, visualization, affirmations, five actions steps, taking actions. It was a lot to digest on Sunday.

I liked his advice on goal setting: "Set a goal that is big enough, so that in the process of achieving it, you will become someone worth becoming."

Isn't that what we all try to do - to become the best versions of ourselves? 

Live with passion

Who would have thought that answering one strange email could lead me to a fascinating event. On Sunday I had a chance to listen to Jack Canfield and Janet Attwood - two authors who have written books about passion and success.  On Sunday they were like rock stars on a stage. They captured everyone's attention with a snap of a finger, or was it a smile, or the promise to make your life the best it could be. I think I already know my passions, and I have no great aspirations to become the super successful person. I am rather happy with my ordinary life. They got my attention too.

Janet Attwood made us go through a passion test. She asked to look into the areas of healh, career, relationship, fun, environment, spirituality, and education. We had to write ten passions as statements "When my life is ideal I am...."
Some of the examples she provided were rather ambitious:
"When my life is ideal I am world famous pianist."
"When my life is ideal I am peacefully watching a sunset over an ocean in a condo in Hawaii."
Others more close to personal life:
"`When my life is ideal I lovingly spend fantastic time with my husband"

Instead of circling the top five, we went two statements at a time and chose one of the two. If we hesitated we had to think if we could get one and never the other which would we choose. It was puzzling how going through the list several times clarified some ideas until five passions were left.
We also had to score form 0 to 10 how close we are to our ideal statements. When the scores were low it brought a question: what are you going to do about it?

My 5 passions were related to family, health, leadership, learning, and home. Not very surprising, but some things I thought I cared about didn't seem as important when asked "this but never the other" question. Listening to some other persons my statements were modest. The first and the last got rather high scores. The other three I have to do more about.

Janet gave a formula to living a passionate life: follow three words only -
Intention - What do you want? Quite often what stops people is that they don't know what do they really want.
Attention - commitment and focus on the passion. If you know what you want you should focus your thoughts and actions to achieving it. Your passion should guide your choices.
No tension - This is the ability to let go. Understand that you can't control everything. If one door doesn't open go to another.

What I loved most about her presentation was her vibrant energy and the attitude that it is ok to be who you are, follow your own passions and not do something just to please others.

"When you begin to do what you love, what you are truly passionate about, your life will be irresistibly pulled in directions you can't even begin to imagine." - Janet Attwood

Do you know what your passions are? 

Do you follow your passions?

About Jack Canfield's presentation I will write tomorrow.

Curiosity won over reason

A fool - this is how I felt. I recognized a trap and stepped right in it.
An email from "Success Academy" popped in my mail. The name sounded overly ambitious and filled with air. Curiosity won over my usually "delete all strange emails."
An invitation to a "once in a life time" and "World famous speakers" conference with "set your own price" option, limited seats, was offered. I clicked on the link of speakers. Never heard of one. Heard of one of the titles they had written. Curiosity overrun my knowledge of advertising tricks.
I am a tea, sofa, book person.  I am all about education person. Most of the time I am down to earth person. Event "Passion for Success"  organized by a business newsletter and "Success Academy" sounded far from my ordinary life. Strangely this exactly what fed my curiosity.  I knew this event would be completely different form my interest circle. I am a curious person.
I made an offer and gave an explanation why should I get a ticket with the price I offered. In less than an hour I received a response that if I wanted I could by a ticket.
So I had an option to say "no." I said "yes." I received a bill. I could have not paid when I received the bill. I paid. I could have written that they can give my place to someone else and give me a refund. I didn't take this option. If I hadn't paid I could have used this money to buy five hardcover books.
I felt such a fool that I didn't want to tell anyone I had bought a ticket to this event.
I reasoned that I could consider it my early birthday present, a learning opportunity, a research for writing.

On Sunday I showed up and discovered that the hall was packed with people. Three rows of people sat in the VIP section meaning they had paid four times more than I had. The people were the bold and beautiful type. I safely took a seat in the last row.

When the event started I considered this the strangest event I had ever been to. The music boomed, twelve purple lights beamed across the stage, eight small screens had pictures of red and yellow bubbles on them, and a huge screen took up the whole back wall. When the organizer walked to the stage people stood up and clapped. So not Estonian. The organizer invited the first speaker.

Janet Attwood entered to some upbeat music and asked people to dance.  People danced a little. I sat. She asked to stop, told some stories, reminded about being open minded, have fun, and then asked to dance again. People danced with more energy. I danced. If I was going to spend eight hours on Sunday at this event I might as well dance and take the most out of it.
Then I listened. After a while I was hooked. I laughed. Wrote notes. Took a passion test.
By the time Jack Canfield started his session I was fully engaged.

I still consider this one of the strangest events I have been to.  Yet, I don't think I was a fool. Enriching and entertaining the event took me out of my element, provided food for thought and ideas to try out.

(I'll share some of the learning tomorrow)

Favorite Five Party

Joining Leigh Anne's Favorite Five Party
At first I wrote my five things in a comment. Only later, seeing the favorite five party slices popping up on different blogs, I realized it was an invitation for a post. How I misunderstood, who knows, and it doesn't matter now. I will gladly join the party.

I will bring:

white or green tea - tea leaves not the tea bags; my latest favorite is a mixture of white tea, green sencha tea, pineapple pieces, lemon grass, yellow rose buds and coconut flakes; one tea spoon for one cup of hot water: brew for two minutes. I would bring my little red tea pot, but it makes tea for two only.
post-it notes - in all colors and sizes and shapes; never too many.
fresh berries - raspberries would be the best; blueberries taste delicious, just be aware that wild ones make your tongue dark. There are no berries in the forest nor garden right now. Good that I packed some in my freezer. They taste almost as good and the blueberries still darken your tongue.
dancing shoes - maybe after some reading and writing and eating and story telling we could all dance a bit; it doesn't have to be cha-cha-cha or foxtrot, we can move to music as we feel comfortable; pure fun; if you don't have shoes we can dance bare feet.
and my camera - to keep memories.

The party goes on. You can join any time. :)

Saturday - one of the best

Saturday

Location:
My home, Kohila alev, Raplamaa, Estonia

Weather:
Cloudy. Drizzle. Warm enough to go out without a hat and gloves, jacket still on. Spring.

People:
My sister (38y)
My baby nephew (8m)
My oldest daughter (21y) - at home for the weekend, planned visit
My middle daughter (20y) - at home for the weekend, a surprise visit
My youngest daughter (12y)
I (44y)
Absent:
my hubby, visiting his parents
My brother in law, working
My oldest nephew, taking entrance exams to tenth grade

Menu:
1. Salad: rucola, cherry tomatoes, mozzarella, pomegranate seeds, olive oil, balsamico, salt
2: Main: chicken breast in cream and white wine sauce, spinach risotto with parmesan
3. Dessert: white chocolate mousse

Chefs to thank: my two daughters

Alternative: baby food - vegetable puree

Exercise:
Baby yoga. My daughters tried to do the exercises my little nephew does - downward dog on toes, locust with stretched hands, toes in a mouth. Too complicated for them to keep up with the eight month old.
Walking. Seven kilometers pushing a baby carriage while the nephew slept. You can imagine how tired he was after his yoga. You can imagine how tired I was after the walk. Not my usual distance. Shorter than her daily distance for my sister.

Entertainment
Pass-the-baby (my favorite game today, I think I won and got to hold the baby the most)
Children songs (my little nephew is an appreciative audience)
Make-faces(my little nephew wins this one)
Gloom (I don't understand the game, but my girls like it a lot, the baby was allowed to play with the cards)

Key words:
Sisters. Baby. Home. Fun. Delicious. Love.

Celebrate this week

"A party without a cake is just a meeting," declared a colleague and dug into a delicious raspberry cheesecake with a dessert fork.  I know, she let me taste it. With one bite our lunch had turned into a party.

Teacher in-service day is the only day when there is enough time for a teacher to leave the school building and have lunch outside. I had invited my small team of core teachers to a nearby small cozy restaurant. The five of us (we missed the one away at a conference, and one visiting a doctor) continued the morning meetings around the lunch table. Without an agenda and expected outcomes we told funny stories, sad stories, unbelievable stories, and inspirational stories form our present and past teaching. We laughed. A lot. Hopping over puddles we laughed on our way back to school. This is a way to end the school week. With a cake and laughter.

It was a good week, not perfect, including some upset students and upset teachers and upset parents, and some tired mornings, unfinished tasks, a cancelled performance. The saddest moment, the news about AKR's death. Still, the week had lots of good in it - creativity in drama games, commitment in learning division, fun in script writing, calm independent study time, books finished and new started, emails answered, a nap on a train, the sun warming my back, a first tiny snowdrop stretching out from the soil,  and a slice written every day of the week, hugs, happy birthday to dad, mom sleeping over, two older daughters coming home for the weekend.

"This too shall pass," shared the same wise colleague when one of the teachers told about some struggles.
The week has passed already. The bad has passed. The good has passed. The good moments I will carry along in my memory. These I celebrate.

I hope you had some cake this week.

what you need for a meeting

"How was the day?"  a father inquirers, standing at the classroom doorway, buttoning his brown wool blend overcoat. His daughter, my student, packed in her snow pants and jacket with a school bag on her back, leans against the door frame. She is licking an ice cream. I guess they were in the cafeteria buying the ice cream when I was in the hallway talking to other parents and saying good-bye to the students.
"The exciting thing was that we were invited to middle school winter fair. The students had some specialist lessons and the rest of the day I allowed independent study. M. focused mostly on division and puppet play script writing," I give a short overview, pick up two markers and a ruler from a table, push in one chair and walk closer to the two. The day had been calm need, each student choosing and prioritising their tasks for a day, and my role was to help each one individually.
Dad looks at the daughter, she looks back, nods, but doesn't say anything, he mouth full of ice-cream.
"It was a good day then," he smiles, takes the daughter's hand and adds, "Have a lovely afternoon."
"Remember, there is no school for students tomorrow," I remind the student and her father.
"Oh, yeah. In-service day for teachers. I hope the meetings will be productive," the father says and wraps a colorful striped scarf twice around his neck, "What have you planned for tomorrow?"
He was my supervisor during a leadership course some year ago, before his daughter came to my class. My final project for this course was to implement protocols during the teacher meetings. Ever since the course he has been curious how I run the teacher meetings. I gladly share what we do and how we do it. The meetings are energetic, fast paced and productive. Strange to say but I actually enjoy the team meetings. Committed and enthusiastic teachers give me a positive boost.
"Analyzing planners tomorrow," I share.
"Have fun," says the father and starts moving.
"And don't forget the tea, carrots and chocolate," says the girl with a big smile before following her dad.
"She knows you well," comments the father over his shoulder and waves me good-bye.
Tea, carrots and chocolate - good reminder.

The place to read

Where would you choose to read in my classroom?

a) on a wooden chair behind a table
b) on a blue sofa
c) in a red armchair
d) on a window sill with pillows
e) on a bouncy ball
f) lying on your stomach on a carpet
g) on a blue bench in front of the white board
h) on a colourful sofa in the hallway
i) on adjustable office chairs
j) under a round table

For a long time the most favorite spot in my class was the windowsill. They raced for it, tried to squeeze three together, fought over the pillows, until we agreed that two was enough and we made a rotation schedule.
Last week, for some unknown reason, one girl made a little nest under a round table. Since then the students have found their new favorite place. The place with the least light.
In Estonia we have health and safety inspectors visiting schools and one of the things they carefully monitor is appropriate lighting. That someone might read under the table would not even cross their mind. Our director on the other hand finds that if students wish to sit under the table it is our responsibility to find ways to attach light to there. Maybe led lights with a battery, because the inspectors don't allow any wires on the floor either.

the time we have

"Library" says a little yellow post-it next to my kettle. I am sure it will remind me to go and pick up a book I have been in line for over a month. I usually like to return another book before picking up a new one. Jodie Picoult and Donna Tartt's books are thick. I am nowhere close finishing them. Page seventy-two in the first book and the second not even opened yet. The third book I borrowed is a thin and small book from an Estonian author.

Before heading out in the morning I tuck the small book in my school bag between my I-Pad and notebook. Reading in the morning and in the afternoon on the train, and some at school and some at home, I should be able to finish it in a day. Lots of reading but doable.

As soon as I sit down on a train, I unzip my jacket, unzip my bag, take out the train card, take out my book. I get several pages of reading done before the conductor arrives to check my ticket.
The beginning of a book is a marvellous description of Estonian nature, the word choice makes me jealous, I already make plans of how to "steal like and artist."

Two stops later the main character, and old and lonely man, overcomes a feeling that his time has come to the end. I keep reading but I don't see the words nor follow the meaning. The news about Amy Krouse Rosenthal's death floats to my mind. And her letter about her husband published ten days before her death. This won't make the news in Estonia. Years ago I hadn't heard about her either. Until her "One of Those Days," "The Wonder Book," and the "OK Book" became yearly visitors in Grade 3. When I read her "Encyclopaedia of Ordinary Life" I considered it one of the most extraordinary books I had ever read.

She was only fifty-one. Seven years older than me. This shouldn't have been the end of her time.

I put away my book and take out the I-Pad to see what I had highlighted from her unusual memoir.
Under Y she filed "You" and in there she says, " Perhaps you think I didn't matter ...."
"But I was there."
"And I did things"
and a long list of every day actions mixed with emotions follows, like: I shopped for groceries, I hugged my mother, I wished I was older, I wished I was younger, I loved my children, I loved mayonnaise.
"I was here, you see, I was."

I stop reading. I put the I-Pad away. I only look out of the window for the rest of my train ride. I think of the time we have. I think of the unknown time I have left, and the time my loved ones have. I feel thankful that my mother stayed overnight last night.

morning walk through old town

The benefits of driving a car to school: 

going and coming on personal schedule

warm and dry inside when it rains or snows

door to door service saves time

The benefits of taking a train:

someone else is in charge of the vehicle

plenty of time to read

some exercise when walking from the train station to school

Three days out of five I take the train to work. Now that the days are getting lighter and lighter I am enjoying my morning route to school through Tallinn Old Town.

The quiet streets of Tallinn Old Town in the morning contrast with the busy afternoons when I have to slalom around snail-paced tourist groups, loud teenage crowds or toddler guided families. 

Calm and welcoming morning whispers, "Stay."  

As I walk down the empty streets I am starting to feel as if I was the only one left in the world. 

Most doors are still closed. 

From the corner of my eye I see an old couple sitting at a breakfast table at a hotel cafe. 

I wish someone I know, a long lost friend, would cross paths with me, smile, hug me tight, and we would go to a cafe, sip tea form large red cups, let our life stories unfold, filling the gaps between the past and the present.

I keep walking with a steady rhythm. 

An old man in a long black coat and gray beard walks with his German shepherd. A delivery truck turns a corner and vanishes around another. Far away a small girl in a yellow snowsuit swings her violin case as she hurries down the street.

Then I am alone again.

What if... What if turned left instead heading right. What if I changed my destination. What if I stayed here in this solitude. What if I danced and filled myself to brim with the freedom and beauty of the morning city. 

The flashing thought is silenced by my conscientious mind, my sense of duty and responsibility. The musts of the day direct my path.

Not letting go of the feeling of freedom so easily.

I slow down and stop. Turn around. Look back. Look up. 

The sleepy houses observe me with quizzical eyes when  I pull out my I-Pad and capture the peaceful scenes. 

Then I reach the border of this slowly waking historical town and enter back to the hurry-hurry world of the modern city centre with its rivers of cars and streams of people,

demanding parents

For years now I have asked and received one gift from Santa - theater tickets. This time I had to wait more than two months before the actual performance. On Friday evening my husband and I sat in a small theater hall at the Estonian National Library and watched Lutz Hübner's  Ms. Müller Must Go.
The play spoke to me. Behind the humorously exaggerated characters were real life situations.

Parents always have their child's interest in the focus.
They want the best for their child.
Parents think they know what and how everything should be at school.
Since their child takes the biggest attention it distorts the view and makes it challenging to see the big picture.
The parents don't necessarily understand how complex the classroom life and learning can be.
The parents can't imagine the chemistry and dynamics that may get on a way of achieving pedagogical goals.
The parents have no clue how the family situations and parent relationships influence what the child does and feels, or how the child behaves at school.
The teacher may have the best theoretical knowledge and long experience, yet sometimes some situations become so challenging that they almost require a miracle to be solved.
The teachers make miracles happen but not always.
The teachers sometimes forget that it's not easy for the parents either.
The teachers may feel so vulnerable that self-defence or self-pity takes over.
The teachers don't always know how to handle these situations with calmness and kindness.
 
Many problems could be avoided with open communication, listening, considering different points of views, looking at situations from many angles, having patience, treating each other respectfully. appreciating the effort from everyone, and most of all, considering what the child needs at this moment.

The one hour and forty minutes passed quickly. As a teacher I liked the play a lot. I was engaged, I laughed, I made connections with my own experience. My husband, not a teacher, said he considered it a good play too and the time was well-spent.

mini macaroons

Ten colorful mini macaroons were packed in a small white box with a see through cover and a pink ribbon bow. As soon as I saw them I knew I had to buy them for my sis. My husband and I were on our way to take my daughter to my sister's place before we went to theater, and we had made a stop in a store to look for possible knobs for our kitchen cabinets. We didn't get the knobs.

Had we known that the shopping mall had a festive fair going on we wouldn't have gone there, but since we didn't we ended right in the middle of farmer's market merriment. We weren't immune to the displays and ended up buying smoked ham, herb cheese, six pickles, two mangoes, a caramel doughnut (one for three to share), and ten macaroons as a gift.

We hadn't planned for any of this. Like I hadn't planned to write this slice. My plan was to list ten things for a weekly celebration:

slow foxtrot and rumba
reading and notes
strengthening inner core
drama games
tulips for Women's Day
portfolio reflections
concert
student led conferences
leadership lecture and dinner
theater

These are my mini macaroons of this week - each different color and different flavor. I pack them in this celebration and tie with a pretty gratitude ribbon. My gift to myself.

What flavors did your week hold?