this, that and my writerly bio

(When my mom speaks to me, she sometimes tells me several stories before she gets to the one that she originally wanted to tell. She often uses a phrase "But this is not what I wanted to say." I don't mind it. I am so used to it and sometimes even wait for it, and we both sometimes laugh when she does it with a long string of stories. I noticed that yesterday I did the same with my hubby - instead of getting to the point I had other things to tell first. I felt that this style might be good for today's slice.)  

Yesterday I wrote an invitation for my readers to join for a cup of tea. I myself felt so peaceful and calm in the morning after writing it, happy I had sliced even before the lessons had started, content with the way I had expressed myself. A wonderful start for a day. I had a good plan for the day, a tight and balanced schedule. And then the day started, everything going according to my plan until it wasn't. It took only two emails to shift my mood, my schedules, my balance. More questions than solutions. Colliding perspectives. Added meetings and more emails to write. 

But this is not what I wanted to say.

Once the day ended, I checked my personal email that collects my blog comments. I hadn't even realised how tense I had been all day, until I read the comments and the warmth of the words swelled my eyes. I was surprised at my reaction. I explored it with curiosity, accepting whatever thoughts and feeling surfaced, and there were many, and then I let them go. A brisk walk in fresh air is what I needed. Making dinner was soothing. The day also begged for something sweet. So I baked a chocolate cake with almond flour. 

But this is not what I wanted to say.

I decided to end the day with looking through my journals and drafting a possible slice for today. I saw my  100 things about me as a writer list in my journal. It felt too long for sharing as a slice. I drafted history of my writing life in five sentences as Fran McVeigh shared. The exercise reminded me that I still have a picture book about my dog that I wrote in my English class in fifth grade when I had learned English only for four years. It was the times when computers were not available at school yet, so it is all handwritten with my best squiggly cursive. 

But this is not what I wanted to say.

The strangest exercise I tried was creating my writerly bio from a third person perspective. It's just bizarre to write about oneself like this. Looking at my 100 things as a writer and five sentence writing history I realised that I have had a chance to change my story from believing I am not a writer to the story of being a someone who actually enjoys writing. Shifting the perspective from the personal inside view to looking at myself from aside yielded a rather positive result. I kind of like the writer whose bio I wrote. 

But this is not what I wanted to say.

What I wanted to say is that even though it might sound strange and feel bizarre it is a good exercise to look at your life and yourself and your writing from far and above with a caring view and give yourself some compliments. 

And as we say to our student: go, give it a try.

(My writerly bio: Terje is an experienced educator who discovered writing in her late thirties. She explores the world around and inside her with curiosity, open-mind and caring heart. She likes to experiment and play with ideas and words. From her comfy living room sofa in a little countryside town in Estonia she connects with the global community of bloggers. Together they seek answers to the questions of how to find beauty in the ordinary, seek light and color, create magic, hold happiness, and keep learning and growing. She is always ready to sip tea with her readers.)