a teacher mistake

Day 18 of March Slice of Life Story Challenge

Writing conference gone wrong. All I wished was for A. to consider her audience and revise a bit of the story ending. From my point of view a dad killing his daughter and stuffing her into a doll is inappropriate for third grade readers. When A. heard my suggestion to change the ending, a shadow crossed her face, eyes darkened, mouth tightened, she threw her draft on the floor and stormed out of the classroom
I peek out of the door and see her sitting, hands crossed on her chest, on the couch in the hallway next to the classroom door. Checking that the other students either draw illustrations or revise their drafts on I-pads, I slide out of the classroom and sit next to A.
"I am not going to change my story. I like it. You don't like my story," A. announces crossly.
"It's not about whether I like or don't like your story. It has great characters, you speak to your reader, use active verbs. What I am saying is that the violence is not appropriate for children, especially when we plan to publish the story and share with the first graders," I explain.
"Then I am not publishing. I don't care. I like my story and I won't change it," A. turns away from me, indicating that she has finished talking or listening to me.

I leave her be. No point in pressuring a child who is upset. I know that no matter what I say or how I say falls to closed ears.
This incident is followed by A. trying to avoid going to French, ignoring her classmates during the break, walking past me with turning her head away. I feel asking her to change her story is the right thing to do, but I also know I made a mistake, a fundamental mistake in giving her the feedback. Maybe I can still fix the situation.

During the break she plays with a fourth grade girl, and later sits with her during the lunch. I can see how A. is melting slowly.
When the kids line up to go to PE, I ask A. whether she is feeling better.
She nods.

After PE, when others are settled comfortably to reading, I invite A. to the couch again.
"First of all I wish to apologize. I made a mistake. I should have started with what was great in your story. I started with what to change, and as soon as you heard it, your brain closed tightly, and you didn't hear anything else I said. May I, please, start over?" I say and wait.
A. visibly softens and with a high girlish voice says, "Ok."
"First of all you have written more than ever before, you have unique characters, You describe them with interesting detail like the crack in the doll's head, you use dialogue with verbs like scream and whisper, and you speak to your reader. Like Kate DiCamillo in our read aloud The Tale of Despereaux," I list her strengths as a writer.
'I was inspired by her," A. smiles.
I lift five fingers, "Can you see how many good things are in your writing? The only thing that worries me is the ending. You can keep it and when you are older you can publish it as it is now, but, maybe this time you can find a different way to achieve your result, maybe a witch uses some magic or a spell."
"Nah. I already now what I can write. I have a really good idea," A. says, stands from the couch, walks to the classroom, gets her I-Pad and writes.


Always start with the positive - a basic rule of a conference, yet I completely forgot it. It may have been because of being tired, or maybe because I thought that yesterday's positive comments counted today too. I am glad that I was able to open the conversation and make up my mistake.