Isn't the spring weather funny? I don't know how to get dressed. Before getting on a train I had been careful to walk because the ground had been still frozen. Now, in the city the sun is so warm I should take my gloves off. I'm glad I left the hat home.
Talking to myself in my head, I took off my gloves and stuffed them into my coat pockets.
I'll keep the scarf. And I'll keep myself buttoned. Maybe I should have worn a lighter coat. Then again, it might be cold in the evening. I can feel my back warming up. The backpack adds a layer. The likelihood of sweat trickling down my back is increasing with every step.
Suddenly, in mid walking, my legs stopped taking steps and for a split second I found myself completely confused, standing next to the medieval old town hall on the cobblestones path of Old Town.
Where am I? Where am I going?
Having a weather-clothing conversation in my head, I had kept walking without paying attention and at this corner, since I was not present, I had a moment of complete body and mind disconnect. My body didn't know which direction to go. For the countless times, when I worked in the city, I had turned right at this corner to go to school. The path was still in my muscle memory. Even after three years. And without the mind in control the body wanted to take the known path.
I know where I am going. No to school. Today it's university. Like yesterday. Leading the second day of a second module of "Supporting teacher professional development at schools." Walk on. Go straight.
I walked on.
I do know that feeling and it can be a bit scary and quite disorienting! Glad you sorted out the way.
ReplyDeleteThat auto pilot is powerful. This disconnect (talking to myself while ignoring the present) happens when I return for a food item only to find I already consumed it.
ReplyDeleteI love hearing the in-your-head conversation that lands you in that place of muscle memory. It happens to me all the time, driving or walking. It’s been 20 years since we lived on Astor Place. Finally I do not slow down at the turn.
ReplyDeleteThat moment of confusion when you mind was on something else and your body kept moving. We have all been there. arjeha
ReplyDeleteYes, I've had that feeling, and it's even more scary when you're driving. How did I get to that exit off the highway? This made me think about the times that I've left the present moment because I'm filled with those internal thoughts and it happens in weird moments - like during a periodontist cleaning. I am suddenly not there. And then the hygienist talks, and I feel like I'm jolted out of myself. Hope your workshop went well.
ReplyDeleteI love that we got to hear your inner thoughts in this slice. I have so been there- both with the not knowing what to wear with the changes in temperature throughout the and the getting lost in my own thoughts and forgetting where I am. You captured these feelings very well!
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