Really? This is all you wrote? I understand you are busy but really? I stared in disbelief at the responses on the feedback form.
I had written a beautiful heartfelt thank you letter, spent time crafting and editing supportive reflection questions for the feedback form and sent both out to the small number of participants who had been part of all three two-day modules of a course I had created for school teams to thoughtfully and systematically implement instructional coaching.
Since I had already heard positive feedback from the participants and in the letter I had mentioned that they need to take time for a longer response, and during the last module we had spent time on learning about reflections, speaking about the way to write them in depth, and even practiced writing, I was expecting, I was rather sure I would receive some paragraphs that I could provide to my boss and the education fund to prove that the course had been successful.
Today I received the first response. Every section had one vague sentence. Even my fourth graders used to write longer reflections.
Disappointment landed heavily on my chest. Like a dark boulder it rolled across my heart and crushed my mood, my hope and my self-esteem. The shattered pieces flew around my living room office, sparkled in the spring sun, mocked me. I lost any wish to continue doing any further work, closed my laptop and scrolled Facebook instead.
I saw a cute smiling lamb video and sent it to my closest group of friends. I had wanted to share how down I was but since it was still too raw I chose to wave to them with the video instead.
Cute lamb photos don't help to handle disappointment. They create a temporary smile.
I went for a walk. Melting snow, wet and muddy paths, chilly wind and sun lowering behind the trees, I ignored all of this, marched along, fumed and mumbled under my breath, and had an internal debate whether to let it go or ask for another response. Thankfully I had taken a longer route, so the aerobic exercise dissolved the wish to scold and reprimand and complain and morphed into an idea to gently ask for more feedback.
When I got home, and checked the friends' reactions to the lamb video, the lamb looked even cuter than before.
That sounds hard, Terje. When you invest time, thought and energy towards an intended outcome, it can feel demoralizing when people do not respond in kind. The smiling lamb is very cute and although no antidote to your disappointment, one way to press pause in your thoughts. I hope other respondents are more generous in their feedback.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard when you expect something more for your efforts, especially after discussing the importance of a detailed response and how it should be crafter, to get so little. The lamb is so cute. arjeha
ReplyDeleteI can feel the weight of your disappointment, especially with the boulder descriptions. Sometimes taking a time out and having an "internal debate" is the best answer. But yes, that lamb is adorable!
ReplyDeleteOh Terje! How frustrating! That said, your description of disappointment is incredible - what a great paragraph - and the lamb is seriously cute. I hope your next responses are a million times better and that this person was just busy. (fingers crossed)
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