continuing where we left off 2

I wrote a blog post on Tuesday how my little nephew perfectly remembered what we had played about two months ago and simply wanted to continue from where we left off. 

I so wish to do the same with my writing. Just pick it up where I left off. Recently I have felt that my writerly identity is shrinking and among all the other parts of me barely gets noticed and among all the things to do it doesn't get much word and action at all, and it becomes harder and harder even to get started with writing. My journal is empty and I haven't been able to keep up with my intention to blog twice a week, not to mention some other writing dreams I had hoped to nurture. When I open my blog, I sometimes wish to write just, "I am here."

I am not even sure it's so much a question of time for writing but rather the mental state that needs some adjusting.  It's as if my head is filled with too many school related things, that the creative writing space is constantly shrinking. I use mindfulness to switch off from school, yet I need to get stronger in protecting my mind from the school related thoughts that bombard me. I have some good routines in place to stay healthy, yet in after school the temptation to merge with my sofa becomes overpowering. 

So what's my action plan? 

I'll keep using tools to unload my mind from school matters - writing everything down, making sorted to do lists, highlighting no more than three musts for a day, taking breaks, not opening the school email after school, celebrating what is well. 

I think that another challenge stems from trying to write in the evening when I am tired and getting intimidated by the idea of writing. So, I'll write before I make dinner. I'll aim for small chunks, setting a timer for 15 minutes only. I will also set aside a larger chunk of time at least on two Saturdays a month. 

I wrote on Tuesday. I wrote today. I celebrate. I even made a lemon cake. 

Photography is even more on the back stage than writing. Here is one of my latest: