Hot water slowly filled my teacup. A middle school history teacher, a young man, was heating up his lasagna in the microwave. An upper school English teacher, a woman not much older than me, had already sat down at a table to eat her lentil soup. The "so-much-to-do-so-little-time" ticking on the back of my head I was ready to leave the teacher lounge as soon as my cup was full, and
return to my classroom to continue writing assessment comments. I took a few steps towards the door when I changed my mind to stay for a short chat. I hardly ever see these teachers. Both of them joined our staff last August.
"Are you coming to the school's 20th anniversary staff dinner tonight?" I asked them
"I will," responded the English teacher with a smile, "I haven't been feeling well, but I think that I'll take a nap after school and then I'll be ok."
"I won't," said the History teacher, "I will be with my family."
He has a one-year-old son and a three-year-old daughter. I remembered that his wife had a minor surgery recently and I heard his mother-in-law was visiting for a week.
20th anniversary dinner sounds important but I knew this young man had made a right decision. In a long run the food in a fancy restaurant meant nothing compared to what the man had chosen.
He knew what was essential in his life, what was important, and what mattered the most. I respect and admire him for that.
My kids are older. My youngest daughter is eleven. Two older daughters go to university already and have moved out of home. For me going to the dinner was an opportunity to relax and chat with dear colleagues, some with whom I have worked together for 17 years. When I arrived home late in the evening my family, my older ones both also at home, greeted me cheerfully.
Today is Saturday. As a teacher I could fill all hours with planning new units or lessons; assessing student learning; writing planners, comments, emails, or self-study; reflecting on my teaching and interactions; reading PD books. On Saturday I try to stay away form anything school related and be with my family. We haven't made plans yet. So anything is possible. No need for grand and glorious. I would be happy to be at home listening to the chitter-chatter of girls, playing some board games, eating pizza. I am happy that everyone is at home.
wisdom for sure!
ReplyDeleteFamily first, as much as we can. If we have family as our center, then other things can fall into place.
ReplyDeleteRight?
Kevin
It's funny that we often feel guilty for putting family first. I love this post. We need to help others feel okay about making those decisions.
ReplyDeleteThis is an important reminder. Glad that young teacher could make that choice. Not all do. Your post also reminds me that it's important to go to the faculty room sometimes, to foster relationships. Yes, we can get more done by just staying at our desk during lunch. But connections matter too: at home and at work. Thank you for your post.
ReplyDeleteThis is an important reminder. Glad that young teacher could make that choice. Not all do. Your post also reminds me that it's important to go to the faculty room sometimes, to foster relationships. Yes, we can get more done by just staying at our desk during lunch. But connections matter too: at home and at work. Thank you for your post.
ReplyDeleteYes! So important for all family members to remember to keep family first. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIt's not always easy to put family first but it's always rewarding. It's good to see that your colleague stuck to his priorities. It's important to remember that we all have our own "stuff" happening and what is right for one isn't right for another. We have to respect each other for that!
ReplyDeleteYes! Family. That is my plan for tomorrow. It has been a busy week and I can't wait for some down time. This serves as just the right reminder of that. I always find so much inspiration in your writing.
ReplyDeleteIn a world where so many people's priorities seem skewed, it's refreshing to hear of young people who understand that their kids come before anything. Plus, I am sure the pressure to attend the event was great and he was able to stand up for himself. I am not sure as a young teacher I would have been able to do the same. As an old teacher--I have no trouble whatsoever saying 'No thank you' to school social events outside of the school day.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for taking the time to build relationships with those teachers. School family is important much like home family!
My favorite line, 'the "so-much-to-do-so-little-time" ticking on the back of my head' completely resonated with me- there is always more to do. I feel like I'm always faced with the decision to build relationships with colleagues I don't see often, or get back to my giant to-do list. I love how you pointed out that it really is family first- that's what really matters
ReplyDeleteI have made Saturday a "no drive day". That means I only do things around home. Occasionally, I break my rule, but I need one day at home with no obligations. Except to my dog, Lucy, and me.
ReplyDeleteChoosing the important things unique to us is important. We are all in different places in our lives, and so we choose. I wish others could read this Terje, and consider how they are choosing.
ReplyDeleteMy first year teaching I got very sick for about 3 days. As I complained to my father about how I was missing days from work my father said, "I know you love your job and I'm proud of you, but if something were to happen to you they willl simply get another teacher and their world will continue. Don't stop or neglect your world right now. You come first" As a first year teacher I am so glad someone told me.
ReplyDeleteWise. Family comes first, and time with them is most important of all.
ReplyDeleteWise. Family comes first, and time with them is most important of all.
ReplyDeleteThe ability to say "no" is such a simple one but so important! It's hard to do it, but definitely worth it. You're so smart to be able to prioritize like that!
ReplyDeleteI was lucky to mostly have principals who said that family always came first! and it's true. If we let it, teaching could be a 24/7 job - I never felt caught up. Have a lovely time at the dinner!
ReplyDeleteBeing with family is so precious. I love this..."No need for grand and glorious."
ReplyDeleteI love how you were able to relate with both of your colleagues. It's amazing how different seasons of our lives lead to different decisions. A 20 year anniversary is surely a special occasion and I'm sure it was nice to catch up and reminiscence.
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