a problem solved easily

Day 23 of March Slice of Life Story Challenge

I could see that N was upset. Sitting by herself at the lunch table, away from other girls, eyebrow tightly furrowed, she chewed on her chicken pieces. Third grade girl trouble. In all honesty, the sight of her sent me mental pictures of the upsetness escalating in the afternoon. Not something I ever look forward to, especially not today, when we had to practice for the student-led conferences.
"Is there something I need to know. Would you like to tell me something?" I checked before sitting down with my colleagues.
A head shake.
I have learned that with this little girl I need to be patient. Give her time and space until she is ready to talk.
After lunch, when everyone else returned to the classroom, they immediately continued from where they left off, pairing up, pretending being with their parents, explaining the energy posters,  trying out the musical instruments they built, demonstrating how light works, using magnatiles to show geometry knowledge, reading their stories and revealing their writing process, sharing their favorite books and thinking.
Where was N? Under a computer table. Obviously still not ready to talk.
About ten minutes later she came out, walked over to the math table, and started building with magnatiles.
"Ready to talk?" I touched her shoulder.
"Not yet," she replied without looking at me.
Another thirty minutes passed until she came to me.
We went out of the classroom and sat on a couch.
"When I was sitting on a bench outside, M. came to me and said that she didn't want to play with me because I was mean," N told me what had made her upset.
"I understand why you are upset. Did you try to solve the problem yourself?" I asked the standard question.
"No, because she ran off and then I was upset," N explained.
"How would you like me proceed now?" I let her to come up with the solution.
"You talk to M, and then we talk," she suggested.
"Ok. Go back to the classroom, I'll talk to M" I agreed to her idea.
When M is seated next to me, she looks up with expectant eyes.
"Do you know why you are here? Wat might be the issue that happened outside and got N upset?" I asked her.
A head shake.
When I share N's side of the story, M listens, not showing any emotions.
"Might this be true?" I asked.
A nod.
"But when we asked her to play with us so we would have equal teams, she said no, that she didn't want to play with us. We couldn't play," M added to the picture of what happened.
"We have talked about choices. When someone does something that makes you upset, you can address the person or ask for help from the teacher. Making someone upset in return is not a choice. You know that, don't you?" I tilted my head and looked her in her eyes.
A nod.
"I will now invite N back here. Even when you have thoughts that are not positive, please let only the kind words cross your lips. Ok?" I smile.
Another nod.
When N and M were sitting next to each other, my hand was already on the door handle. I looked at both of the girls,  lifted my hands to my chest level and wiggled my fingers as if spilling fairy powder, "I will leave you out here. Make magic."
They both smile and nod.
In less than a minute I had two giggling girls walking to a classroom, grabbing their fresh picture books from a table and returning back to the bench.

Yes, it took more than hour until the problem was solved, but we successfully avoided the vicious "but-she-did" cycle. We have moved away from students blaming each other and looking for some sort of punishment form me. They have learned that it takes listening to both sides and then everyone having good will to acknowledge their part in the problem, apologize, forgive, leave the problem behind and move on. I wish all problems were solved so easily as the one today.