Almost at sleep, but not quite, I can feel how Mimm's body lands next to me with a thump. We already have had our good night hugs and kisses. She should be in her bed. She's not. I can hear her tossing next to me. I open my eyes to see her digging her head under a pillow. It's clear she has made sure to wake me up.
"What is is?" I ask fighting my fatigue.
"I feel sorry for myself," her muffled voice barely reaches me.
"What?" I am confused, "You just had the most wonderful day playing with your friends and you feel sorry for yourself?"
"Yes," arrives a reply without any further explanation.
"Why?" I probe.
"I don't want to get old," Mimm's head emerges, hair hair all messed up, "I am going to be 11 soon. I don't want to grow old and stop being a child."
How do you respond to something like this late in the evening when your brain has slowed and your body yearns rest? What do you say to a child when she feels sorry for herself because she doesn't want to get older? You know you can't ignore it but you have no energy or wit to find a solution.
Morning is smarter than an evening - I remember an old proverb.
"Mimm, is it possible that we have this conversation in the morning? You can feel sorry for yourself and I listen to you at 9:30, but could you right now think about the wonderful day you had and go to sleep?" I suggest.
"Ok," she sighs, gives me a hug, slides her feet off the bed and shuffles to her bedroom.
The next morning after the breakfast, while Mimm combs her hair, I sit next to her.
"You were feeling sorry for yourself last night. Shall we talk about it now?" I bring up the subject.
"Not now, maybe later. I called to my friends, we are getting together in a park," Mimm turns her head and flashes a smile.
Life sure seems brighter in the morning.
I don't know when this topic will pop up again. I am still not sure what words would be the best to say. Thinking about it.
I sincerely hope that Mimm will take the most out of her childhood - playing, imagining and dreaming.
How feelings and emotions can change in the light of day. Maybe all she needed at night was someone to verbalize her feelings to. Having done that and knowing that you were there to listen made sleep easy to come and have a new perspective the following morning.
ReplyDeleteI think the listening and caring is what Mimm needed at that moment. Sometimes there are no words that can be said, but just being there is important. How many times have we all said "I don't what to grow old" and just verbalizing the thought and having someone say, "I know what you mean", somehow makes it okay.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to grow old and stop being a child.
ReplyDeleteYes, Mimm, I understand. Hold on to your childhood, treasure these days.
I don't want to grow old and stop being a child.
ReplyDeleteYes, Mimm, I understand. Hold on to your childhood, treasure these days.
Isn't it funny how morning changes everything. She should listen to the score of Peter Pan then at least she can appreciate that most of u didn't want to grow up.
ReplyDeleteSweet Mimm, too soon she'll be wanting to grow up too fast. Hold on to these days as long as you can.
ReplyDeleteA new day always brings with it new light. What a treasured moment you have captured.
ReplyDeleteMorning is smarter than evening. I love that so much.
ReplyDeleteYour application of " Morning is smarter than evening" was inspiring. The relationship you have with your daughter is, too!
ReplyDelete