What does a mother of a champion feel?

I don't think there is one exact word to describe what I feel.
Saying the words feels strange: My daughter won 10-dance Estonian Championship (U21).
I'd like to put it in bold because it is so magnificent:
My daughter won 10-dance Estonian Championship (U21).

We were all over the moon when she became 4th in Estonian Championship for Standard Dances. It was achievement beyond our dreams.

This Monday we had mixed hopes and fears when we started the day.
We hoped that they would at least get to the finals, but we were ready for them to be left out, because I had seen some bad dancing two days ago. Besides their Latin has always been weaker than standard.
We were ready to support Marianne no matter what and we planned to enjoy the hours and hours of dancing. This time we came as a team of supporters. Besides my husband and I, my sister came (she had been there when Marianne placed 4th), grandmother (who had seen Marianne dancing last time when she was 13), and sisters (the middle one was last time to the competitions when Marianne was in fourth grade.) We joked that Marianne came with a driver (dad), a sponsor (me), a seamstress (my sister), a landlady (grandma), and cheerleaders (sisters.) We also joked how we should all go and watch the middle one at her programming competitions. I could glue shiny stones into her hair, she could wear sister's fake eyelashes, and in between programming commands, she should shoot us a smile and strike a pose.
We laughed.
We waited.
Marianne danced the five  Latin dances.
We watched.
We waited.
Marianne danced the five Standard dances.
We watched.
We waited.
For my eye the couple was powerful and beautiful and looked amazing. But I was not a judge. There was no way telling what the judges thought.
We waited.
What a relief it was to see her name listed for the finals. But we still didn't know how they compared to others. Did they go in as last or first or middle?

credit to pics: my sis

Then it was three hours waiting before the finals.
Kids, seniors, juvenile 1, juvenile 2, youth 1, seniors all danced before it was time for U21 final. I  held my breath and my heart skipped beats when she danced.
Quick change of clothes and the final five dances.
A relief, that the dancing was over, was followed with anticipation.

When the finalists marched to the floor and the places were called, I was sincerely happy she wasn't last. When the final three were left, I was happy she would get a medal. When the final two were waiting, I stopped thinking. I did not dare to hope. The whole situation was unbelievable already. When the other couple was called for the silver, I was dumbfounded.

My daughter had won 10-dance Estonian Championship (U21)

As I said, I don't think there is one exact word to describe what I feel now. Some people ask whether I am proud. I know that Marianne should feel proud. She achieved this result with years of hard work.
I feel joy for her achieving one of her dreams. I feel admiration for her determination and dedication. I feel peaceful because I know my daughter is a young woman who will dream, work for her dreams, and not give up when faced with difficulties.

I still worry whether she would stay healthy, find love, choose a good university, select a profession that gives her joy. I know I have to let go. As with dancing, at first we were very involved, making sure she had what she needed, sending her to trainings, transporting her to competitions, giving her speeches about importance of practice, trying the best, accepting failure and setbacks. At some point we didn't matter that much any more. We thought that she might as well quit, she had danced for years, it was time and money consuming, and she wasn't happy with one of her partners and results. She didn't quit. She knew what she wanted. She made decisions about her life. And right ones as we found out.

I also feel puzzled how it is possible that my little girl has grown up.

Below is a link to my Picasa albums with short videos about her dances. We totally have forgotten to video her, because the dancing is so mesmerizing. These tiny clips are filmed with a phone with little memory space. Click on one of the icons to see the videos.

short videos