The hardest part of the challenge is to write in haste without the time to thoroughly revise and refine. I had "rejected thoughts" written in my notebook. I played with the words and thoughts a little and settled to this poemish writing. Not exactly what I envisioned, but on it's way.
rejected thoughts and discarded words
wishing for a second chance
hoping for a better future
wanting to make a difference
rejected thoughts and discarded words
searching for a meaningful spot
waiting for a right moment
dreaming of a perfect owner
rejected thoughts and discarded words
sneaking into an old photograph
hiding between rocks and pebbles
meeting a pen on a napkin corner
rejected thoughts and discarded words
warming hearts in the old man's tales
bringing joy in the child's play
becoming mighty in the poet's mind
I turn to free verse when I'm at a loss or a in a whimsical mode. I love how you rejected thoughts and discarded words found a place on your post. I'm very curious about this photograph, napkin, old man's tales, and joy in the child still. Is there a Part II to this poem, or just a surfacing memory? I like it--so much wonder.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteThis is kind of a "found poem". Looking at my notes of ideas not used, there is probably a poem there. Must look.
ReplyDeleteI was able to imagine so much from your words. words looking for a perfect owner...I love that!
ReplyDeleteThe rejected thoughts and discarded words have taken on human qualities searching for someone to use them. I love the image this creates.
ReplyDeleteThe use of the repeated phrase is effective in your piece. I also liked the emotional connection applied to these words. You have brought rejected thoughts in from the cold. The final line is powerful.
ReplyDeleteI also like the repetition of line. I like, "pen on a napkin corner" and "mighty in a poet's hands."
ReplyDeleteWell, if you revise, I'd love to see that too, Terje. This is beautiful. I especially love verse 3, the images priceless. And I liked the end "becoming mighty in a poet's hand". Thanks for doing, since you seemed a little reluctant!
ReplyDeletebeautiful! I really like how you began each stanza with the same lines. It was soft and meaningful.
ReplyDeleteThose rejected thoughts and discards words came alive in your poem. I especially liked the second stanza: "searching for a meaningful spot, waiting for a right moment,dreaming of a perfect owner." Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYou are so good at personification. You are my personification mentor. My favorites are the images these lines conjure up:
ReplyDeletesneaking into an old photograph
hiding between rocks and pebbles
meeting a pen on a napkin corner
You never cease to amaze me. I have plenty of rejected thoughts scribbled in my notebook, but I never, ever would have thought to create something with it. I love it.
ReplyDeleteLast line is powerful! When you use the words in the right place, they can change so much. Today you have given power to the discarded words.
ReplyDelete