MAP test results became available this week. What do they say about the children? What do they say about me as a teacher? Have I done a good job as a teacher? Do I pass or fail?
I have a parent meeting tomorrow morning. Their question is whether their child is meeting the standards. For them it is a question of pass or fail. In their eyes do I pass or fail?
"Anything you would like to know?"
After a full day of the team in the school, and the last 45 minutes answering their questions all I could come up with was, "Please, say that we are doing OK."
"Relax. We are not here as inspectors. We are here as colleagues helping you on your path of learning and growth."
That's when my mind went completely blank.
It's been an hour since the meeting. I've known all the time that life is not about passing or failing, but it's about learning. I know it, yet there is a need for some affirmation that I am doing a good job.
Why the picture of a dog with this slice?
Yesterday my students had to turn in a personal project I had given as a homework. One of the ESL students brought her dog in. She spoke about her dog, what he likes, what he can do, how she takes care of the dog, and asked the dog to show some tricks. It had nothing to do with a scope and sequence of any subject. It will not be followed with an assessment rubric. Yet this presentation with all the others was such a pleasure to watch. It wasn't about passing or failing. It was about learning. They all did a super job and I said that to them.
Oh, I'd like to have that sweet dog as my pet! Terje, you so often share the secret thoughts and worries, then wrap them up by showing us a new path of thinking instead of the worrying way. We just had our accreditation visit last spring & although I've even been on a team for another school & know how it works, we too were so anxious about the visiting team. This happens for a week! Much conversation and answering of questions! I'm happy for you that it all worked out so positively in your mind, & you took a lesson from the real teachers, the students! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard not to wonder when you feel under a microscope. Glad to hear it all went well!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why leaders seem to forget that it is okay to say to a teacher,"You are doing an excellent job." Somehow, in our building, they equate "excellent job" with "no room for growth." However, I think both can exist (and do exist) at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you don't forget that as a leader in your classroom!
BTW- You are doing an excellent job, no matter what those numbers say.
Praise always gives the soul a lift. So good job Terje! You are such a leader in your school.
ReplyDeleteTerje,
ReplyDeleteI feel the pressure of performing just like you expressed here-did we pass or fail...the "whatifs" have been living rent free in my brain lately as the standardized tests are over and the year is coming to a close...my friend just read a 6 word memoire to me tonight..."I will always be a learner"
That last paragraph with the student presentation spoke volumes; as you said, "it wasn't about passing or failing. It was about learning." And how marvelous for your kids that you recognize and value this.
ReplyDelete