Friday, March 11, 2011
Teacher on a windowsill
Seeing Ms. M sitting on the windowsill in the assembly area made me rise my eyebrows in surprise. She looked at me, tilted her head, shrugged her shoulders, and smiled:"Neeh. There is a violin lesson in my classroom. I am fine here." One bite from a chocolate cake, a sip of coffee, and the fingers continued dancing on the keyboard of her purple MacBook.
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This snippet makes me want more. Why did she choose the assembly area? Why does she have chocolate cake? What was she doing on her MacBook? This is great! Instills curiosity in the reader and even though it feels incomplete, the more you read it (I read it 4 times) it begins to sound more complete. Well done!
ReplyDeleteLoved this short snippet! I sense a very content woman who has found a perfect spot and knows it. Well done!
ReplyDeleteTerje,
ReplyDeleteI wish I could see this moment, the silhouetted figure created by the light coming through the window. I like the description of fingers dancing on a keyboard. I also like the juxtaposition of her shrugging her shoulders and smiling; it creates a sense of pleasant carefreeness.
:)
Erin