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Sometimes I don't want to be a teacher.
It's a job where you can never say that you have achieved hundred percent success.
Even with all the theoretical knowledge and experience you can't solve each problem.
The mixture of personalities, motivations, and expectations pulls you to hundred directions.
You can have the most excellent plans but what happens in the classroom depends on gazillion factors.
You know you have done all you can, yet, the feeling of not enough keeps nagging.
It's impossible to explain all you have to know, understand, consider, and do in a classroom.
On some days you are on guard and running hour after hour.
The results of your work aren't instantly visible.
When your heart leads you, it's harder to protect it.
Sometimes I don't want to be a teacher.
I want to quit, escape and hide.
I know the feeling will pass.
Most of the time I love my job.
So true! I feel that way even when retired. I want to return to teaching and I don't. Such a push and pull with our emotions.
ReplyDeleteExactly!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this so well! I'm in year 23... most of the time I love being in the classroom, but I find I have less and less patience for the rest of it. It gets harder to do this job.
ReplyDeleteI said when I retired I was going to work at a Starbucks coffee shop, because I would not have to think nearly as hard as teaching requires. That didn't happen, now I'm trying to figure out how to get teachers to do better so their kids learn more. When I retire, I will work at a Starbucks, then I will know how to make the coffee drinks at home.
ReplyDeleteThis week when I have been home sick I have not liked being a teacher (mostly). I have still had to find the energy to write plans, contact other to do what I would have done. I am sure I will get over this too. E-mails from students have helped! Hang in there Terje!
ReplyDeleteI think you have written well the way most teachers feel at some point in their career. I hope this passes quickly for you. Sending hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so honest. So many of us can relate to feeling this way at one time or another. interesting to notice the note that we can never achieved 100% success. I guess we just need to redefine success
ReplyDeleteI feel you. I have days like this where I question why the heck I'm even bothering. There's so much that I love about teaching, but it is definitely the most challenging job in the world.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what, know that you make a difference. You may not see it directly, but you do. My friend always tells me, "If not you, then who." She reminds me that no one else would give as much as me and be the best for my kids.
The same goes for you. If not you, then who?
Hang in there.
So true, Terje. Loved the honesty!
ReplyDeleteThis is a feeling many non-teachers can't understand. I don't know of any teacher who has not felt this way at times. In our hearts, though, we know that we do make a difference.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this post.
ReplyDeleteAfter today, your post at least lets me know that others feel the same way. I didn't expect this day, & wonder where the path veered. It is the 'unknown' that gets me sometimes. Hugs to you today, & for a good tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteWe all have days like this...and then the cloud passes, the sun begins to shine, and we feel that teaching love again.
ReplyDeleteTeaching is hard work - we try to be everything to everyone and be successful every day. Thank you for your honesty and reminding us that we all want to run and hide sometimes. It's part of being human.
ReplyDeleteTerje, I wish you a calm day today. Your writing is giving inspiration and structure to some ideas I have swirling in my head. Even in your unrest, you helped some teachers today! I hope that this feeling passes for you sooner rather than later.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty. I have felt this way many times. I think we are hardest on ourselves ... thankfully, today is a new day! Jump in and do the best we can ... because those students need you.
ReplyDeleteYour words are a like a silk thread connecting us over so many, many miles.
ReplyDelete