stretched in many areas, no focus, never an expert

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No description, just a slice of thoughts:

Meeting people, taking courses, reading books, blogs and magazines, allows to find amazing resources and inspiration to learn and live.
At the same time it can give an annoying feeling of being behind.
Another annoying feeling follows it.
I feel that I am stretched in different directions and therefore lack focus and will never be an expert in anything.

If I had just one major role in my life (a mother or a teacher) I could devote my time to giving my full attention, finding best engaging activities, creating memorable moments, reflecting on situations, being present at all events, to either my daughters or students. Now,  I give time and effort to both, yet constantly feel that there is still so much to do.
If I had just one area to teach (reading, writing, math, science) I could devote my time in learning, exploring,  and perfecting my practice in that area. Now, I know some of everything, but nothing enough to be considered as an expert.
If I were living, thinking, learning, reading, and writing in only one language, I could expand my vocabulary, trim my grammar, polish my expressions, and gain confidence in presenting. Now, I love my mother tongue, but working in an English speaking environment has messed up my grammar, and in English, no matter how much I learn or practice, I will never be able to understand the subtle nuances of the language or express some phrases as beautifully as they sound in Estonian.

Like with the feeling of being behind the question is about perspective.
I ask myself: Would I change my situation if I were granted a wish?
I answer: No.
No.

I may feel stretched, lack specific focus and never become an expert in one area, but all the different areas of my life make me rich.
I am so rich.
My daughters are the best part of my life. Being a mother allows me to understand my students and parents. My students have brought me both smiles and wrinkles, and never ending surprises and learning situations. Being a teacher allows me to observe, understand and support my own children from educational perspective.
Being a third grade teacher in a school that follows IBO PYP programme has helped me to see how attitudes, trans-disciplinary skills, different subject areas,  inquiry based learning, and giving ownership of the learning to students, all together support the growth of the whole child. I look at the big picture, find connections, and weave together the best and essential of different areas.
Having a second language has opened the world to me. Knowing English helped me to live a year in the USA, get a job at a international school, join Literacy Coaching cohort, read volumes of best educational resources and discover fantastic authors and stories, find this amazing writing community. Being an Estonian has allowed me to understand what it feels to be a minority, rely on the strength of my roots, appreciate the beauty of my homeland, look beyond the boarders of my country, feel joy from little things like black bread and picking berries in a forest.

This doesn't make my life better than someone's who has one major role, lives and works in a native language environment, and specializes in one area. They have their richness and strengths, they give their hearts and devote their time to causes where they know they can make a difference and to people who matter to them.

I may never become the shining leader in one area, but I can become the best me possible, always growing and learning, finding balance and joy, gathering inspiration, sharing my experience, being kind to others, laughing, breathing and loving.