My former classmate posted a new Facebook picture
of herself in bikinis on a boat. It seemed like she had not aged a bit in 20
years. With a fit body and smooth skin it was clear that
she had taken a very good care of herself. She looked young.
I recently joined body shape training and was out of breath with the
first few steps. My vision of myself with light legs clashed with the puffing
reality. Not to mention the shock of seeing a strange aunt who had taken the
place of my reflection in the mirror. I felt old.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking of the age question. How come some
people seem to be young forever, fit, running a marathon, bending in half like a
pocketknife, smooth skin glowing and luscious hair shining like sprinkled with
gold? Then there are the others (speaking of myself) who have gathered a bit of
padding on their body, wrinkles have started to design their face, and for whom
walking in the autumn leaves is a meditation not an exercise. Is one group
younger than the other? Is it more about the looks or feeling? If I start
thinking about my age, have I reached mid-life crises?
I know that in the big picture of life I am tackling a superficial
worry. My husband says I have too much time in my hand if I let thoughts
like these occupy my mind.
It is easy to say that 20-s are young and 80-s are old. 40-s are
supposedly middle-aged, but at the same time it sounds too much as being from
Middle Ages. I had a moment in my 30s when I felt old, but then I proved to
myself that I can run 10K and after that I had my third daughter and became
instantly young again.
So how could I be young again now?
I know I shouldn’t compare myself with people in the magazines. They are
probably aliens. Nor should I compare myself with my former classmates who have
their own secrets - genes, lotions and gym memberships. There is no hope of
finding a time machine or magic potions – if these exist, celebrities have
bought all of them.
I could use the avoidance technique. If I don’t look at my birth date,
reflections or photos, I wouldn’t see how old I was. And I should certainly
avoid racing with public transportation or little kids.
I should use more often the shortcuts to feeling instantly young.
Floating in the water and swinging seem to loose the concept of time and teleport
me back to childhood. Spending time in a company of positive people and
laughing shed layers of years off. Playing games, dancing, reading and writing make
me aging proof. Less worrying about my age and enjoying the present keep the
heart young. Happiness shining from my face makes me look young.
Does it really matter what number I have to answer when people inquire my age?
Funny how we reach a point when it kind of does matter - more than we like to admit - how old we've become. At work I can compete with the 30 year olds - in energy and creativity and maintaining a learning edge. But I'll never keep up with them on the track or a bike or in the pool - and the wrinkles - oh my. I've decided to smile more often so they just get used instead of making me look worn out.
ReplyDeleteWe have a pencil sketch in our house that shows an interesting man (my husband bought it), with the quote, "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?" We have loved seeing it for a long time, Terje. I love your final paragraph, and believe that's the way to live. You're so right, we do not have a time machine, so must just move on, do what we can, and enjoy every minute! Thanks for sharing what many of us ponder, at least once in a while.
ReplyDeleteI think the older I get the more comfortable I am in my own skin - the gray hairs, the extra pounds, the need to dress for comfort and ease...these are all rights I have earned along the way. I have friends who spend so much time worrying about looking as young as their 24 year old daughters, me? I remember 24, I ermember what I looked like at 24...but I am happy not wasting today trying to look the way I did yesterday!
ReplyDeleteBecause of my neck/back issues, my body feels a lot older than what it is (some days I feel 70). But after a Pilates workout I feel 25 again. Therefore, my getting-closer-to-40-by-the-minute age is not indicative of how I physically feel. To that end, I often feel wiser than my years. However, when I'm goofing around with my daughter, I act like my shoe size. Yet another example of how my true age doesn't define me.
ReplyDeleteBut all that said, you will never find a profile pic of me in a bikini on FB. And it's not that I'm too old for that (though I probably am)!
I cannot even imagine posting of a picture of me in a bathing suit...let alone a bikini! Those days are gone. I will be entering a new decade in January. Right now I am OK with that.....but if you ask me that again in January, I might have a different answer. I love enjoying the present keeps the heart young.
ReplyDeleteWhen I look in a mirror I see my father, not me. Age is only a number. Everyone knows that old age is always 20 older than your present age.
ReplyDeleteYou have outlined the plan to staying young, I think I shall follow it. We will stay young together and not worry what the number is. Although I must admit, I have a hard time remembering the right number. Is that a bad sign?
ReplyDeleteTerje, there are so many other important things to ponder than our age. I think you have said it all in your last paragraph. In a few days I'll be 65, and some days I feel much older, but the number really doesn't matter. What matters is what I do each day. So keep smiling and doing what you enjoy.
ReplyDeleteI am earning these wrinkles--I especially love my laugh lines. My older boy gives me more every day, he makes me laugh so much. And the stretch marks remind me of very sweet pregnant days. We all have days filled with moments of self-loathing, but I sure hope you realize how much more you are than just a silly number. Love the quote "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?"!
ReplyDelete"Less worrying about my age and enjoying the present keep the heart young. Happiness shining from my face makes me look young." With these lines you just captured the essence of you!
ReplyDeleteTerje, your number won't define you. You are as young as you feel, or your shoe size when you are playful, like Stacey mentioned.
ReplyDeleteThank you for a thoughtful post on aging, and how we see ourselves.
I think you have your answer right here:
ReplyDelete"but then I proved to myself that I can run 10K and after that I had my third daughter and became instantly young again."
Maybe it's time for child number 4? (LOL)
As a mother of four, I can promise you won't have any time to think about how old you are!
Thanks for letting us inside your head. I felt like we were having tea and a very good chat.
Hugs,
Ruth
Oh, Terje, I love your honesty. It's true. We all think about it. We all compare. We all wonder what the secret is. But I think your conclusion tells all -- our lives describe what we believe is important. Your daughters, your dancing, your writing, your artistic abilities, your baking, your chocolate, your tea, your humor -- that's you. That is what is important to you and to me and to all you know.
ReplyDeleteAge is just a number. But enjoying life to your fullest? That's what counts the most.
As always, I come to Terje's porch when I want to read honest musings that will make me smile (and sometimes giggle). And this is why, today, when I had to give out an award, I had no doubt in my mind that it was to be given to you, Terje - http://jenbaum-laughoftenlovemuch.blogspot.com/2013/10/liebstered.html Sorry I missed you Tuesday, but luckily, with blogs, it was still waiting today, when I finally felt well enough to do some reading and writing....
ReplyDelete